Modern literature is saturated with critiques and directions as to how one should love, who one should be, and what one should want to be. These are our guides where we are not the exception but the “rule”. These are the words of cynics- those who are inclined to believe that people are purely motivated by self-interest. Cynicism is not self-realization but a symptom of one’s metaphysical scar tissue and his/her inability to reason beyond forward logic due to prior experiences or failures. Cynicism is a type C behavior. This is an ideological realm where one believes that love or people can be defined by socially accepted rules derived from common interpersonal behaviors. Love is not a social dogma decreed or influenced by literary philosophers and contemporary thinkers. Love is the intangible, intrinsic force that is indecipherable to anyone who has not been indubitably consumed by it. Thus, it is not one’s own self-interest or the desires of others that are inhibiting one’s quest for love, but merely the perception that one must do just that- search for love.
We confine ourselves by defining what we have not yet known but in the eyes of another. The problem with love is- we’ve seen it represented thousands if not millions of times through other’s lenses. Through this representation an arbitrary timeline of a “healthy relationship” is subconsciously accepted. We begin to believe the social definition of love as dogma and forget the overwhelming variable in this perceivably infallible equation to happily ever after-you. You are not the ideological archetypes eluded to by contemporary writers.
Your love cannot and should not be defined as a reaction. Love comes from you first before it comes to you as an environment reaches equilibrium. Love is true acceptance of the event and everyone in it, including yourself.